Beware: the second verse, could be better but plan on worse

 Montana's Supermajority Republican Legislature is plum tuckered out after the job they did cutting things from Montanans. They'll try tell us, of course, it will pay for the huge tax cuts given to themselves and their rich friends. 

Never mind that it ripped the heart out of needed programs many Montanans depend on.  

We all get tired of reading about what Gianforte and his band of MAGA/Republicans did to our beautiful state. It was a complete disaster and they only did it because they could. 

The Republican Legislators were still fighting for more cuts when the sine die was called and many were already leaving the Capitol. 

The second half of this session - if handled the same way - will leave most of us in gunny sack clothes, barefoot, and empty bellies. . . 

. . . but the MAGA crowd will be sitting in ninety-bushel-to-the-acre wheat fields and rain barrels filled to the brim with high-quality hooch!

(and that would make any farmer happy!)

 

The age-old story of "them what has, gets!"

 Scene of the Crime: Montana Capitol

 

The crime stories from Montana's Supermajority Legislature are plentiful. They litter the scene of what once was the Last Best Place. Voting rights were once available for everyone and abortions were a woman's right. 

Well-heeled out-of-staters descended on our state and grabbed houses for sale. They laid cash on the closing table - often much more than the asking price, to the detriment of locals hoping to have a home of their own or a place to rent.  

When the supermajority took over, our state became a living hell. It was no longer the "Last Best Place." Montana joined the MAGA/Republicans with a "battleground state" mentality and strut.

We must end this horror show now. 

We have new Democrat leaders installed, but this job will take the work of all of us! 

 

Move over Benedict Arnold. . .

 

Once upon a time, Donald Trump assembled his "crack legal team of attorneys" who would set out to prove the last presidential election was fraught with corruption, lies, and ballot skullduggery. They were a menagerie of misfits and nitwits most of the American people had never heard of before - with one exception: Rudy Giuliani, America's Mayor. Their failures were many and their names will go down in the history books along side of America's other infamous traitors.  

These "smooth-talking devils" found only one thing they were good at: Finding a stage and a microphone to vent their outrageous, malicious, and frightening number of lies. 

Some have already lost their license to practice laws in certain areas of the nation. Some have yet to meet their punishment.  All will probably never get the punishment they deserve.  They are all guilty of nearly causing the overthrow of our national election and inciting a coup on our government. We cannot forget that these crooks also had the full backing on nearly every Republican in Congress.

To date, not one of these "Benedict Arnolds" has seen the inside of a jail cell! Maybe in someone's lifetime, one or two of them will. But, it will be too little and too late. 

When someone asks me about the next election, I will simple remind all voters of one thing: Every stinking one of these rascals wore a red cap, was white, was - and still is - rich, and a Republican.

We can never, ever let them hold an office again!

Has the GOP considered Marjorie Taylor-Greene for President?

 Beware the remnants 

of the MAGA/Republican Party!

The ground is still littered with bodies - and some of them are still alive. As they slither across the political landscape, it seems there is no end to the misery and havoc the GOP can cause.  The hard right radical arm of the struggling Republican Party is set to drag their still-sniveling, still-delusional false prophet - Donald Trump - into another season of presidential mayhem. 

Deep down in our heart of hearts would anyone want that again.  He has not changed. He has not softened. He has not gained any truth and honesty. He is the same broken man - from his red cap down to his black heart!

But, he is more than 30 points ahead of Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis who is number two in the Republican race to receive the party's nomination. . . and he is fading fast!  

If you believe Trump can overcome at least 5 state and federal court cases, you seem to have your general election horse in the starting gate and ready for the presidential race. 

I'd say your candidate is a twelve-year-old, three-legged nag that already has an empty nosebag of oats and a one-way ticket to the glue factory.

Red hatters, have you considered Marjorie Taylor-Greene? She doesn't give a damn about our rule of law, constitution, and democracy either!

 

The GOP is calling the shots here, ladies. . .

Republicans don't hate women

They just want the ladies to run things 

past them for approval first

 Once upon a time, an old child's game called "Monkey see, Monkey do" was played.  Children would take turns being the leader, communicating what to do  and where to go in their own way. Actions can include clapping, climbing, stomping, sliding, swinging, follow the head elephant, and gang up on the opposing political losers.

As the head elephants from the east came  up with new, blatant and more nasty things to do to the females of the land, the ideas finally seeped into Montana and its simple-minded Attorney General. He quickly accepted the plan!

If someone attempts to go to another state that has less restrictive abortion laws, our misogynistically-inspired, Republican-infested supermajority  will leap to the rescue and demand all of her health records through the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.  At last count, 19 Republican state Attorney Generals have heard the call and will obey the order from the GOP control tower, making the case for being able to access out-of-state medical records - not just for abortion, but also for gender-affirming care.

So it is written. . . So it shall be!

This Trial Is Gonna' Get Messy. . .

The Trial of

DONALD J. TRUMP

As Viewed By

Most Americans

Judge:  Mr. Trump, before I hear opening remarks, I will ask you how your chair is. Is it comfortable?

Trump:  Hi Harry. You know, it really isn't. Might I ask for a different one?  I have the name of a Swedish furniture maker who could make me an exquisite, custom-built chair in about six months. If we ordered one for me and each of  my four attorneys, they could be ready in about two years.

Prosecution:  Wait a damn minute. Why do we have to get him a special chair?

Judge:  Yes, why is that, Mr. Trump?

Trump: Well, you see they make my chairs to fit my. . . um. . . rather large buttocks! I won't be comfy without one.

Judge: That seems acceptable. Will the prosecution and defense get together a week from next Monday and come up with a day for beginning of trial.

Trump's first attorney:  As I'm looking at the date of the arrival of the chairs, we could possibly be ready in about two years from the date we hold our next meeting.  

Trump's second attorney:  Wait. . . I'm scheduled to speak at an off-season CPAC convention.  Better move that about three weeks further out.

Judge: How does that sound to you, Donald?

Trump:  Well. . . as I'm looking at party bookings at Mar-A-Largo, that would conflict with our swim party for the U.S. Supreme Court members and their wives.  How about the following Monday?

Judge:  Fine.  Are we all in agreement with December 24th?

Prosecution:  One minute, your honor. . . What December?

Judge:  That would be 2025, assuming we are all still alive and our nation's Rule of Law is still this screwed-up.

Judge:  Okay, we're adjourned for today. Let's hot-foot-it over to The Big Guy's Pub at Trump Plaza for a martini!

Trump:  Or, we could jet down to Mar-A-Lago for a drinky-poo in my Private Jet? Maybe we could discuss the fake evidence they have against me.

Third Trump attorney:  Wait. . . Do we really want to begin a trial the day before Christmas?

Judge:  We'll talk about it on the plane.

Tall Tales by John Watson

It' was another "get outta my way" day for Elsie. . .

 Elsie's Li'l Wed Twuck

Elsie Arntzen, Montana's Superintendent of Public Instruction, is at it again.

We all remember just over a year ago when Elsie went around a school bus without stopping. It's "stop sign" was extended, red lights flashing,  and children were entering the bus. She paid a $100 fine and was reprimanded. She pled not guilty and her excuse was SHE DIDN'T SEE THAT HUGE YELLOW BUS WITH IT'S "STOP SIGN" FULLY EXTENDED AND FLASHING RED LIGHTS!

Recently, ol' Elsie was said to be following too close and rear-ended a car driven by a "young person who was confused about what a flashing yellow light meant and she stopped."  So, Elsie must have decided to teach the driver a lesson and  "rear-ended" her. She was fined $65, plus $35 for various surcharges (?) for another $100 total fine.

The only advice I could offer to anyone who spots Elsie in her lil red truck is simple:  Just get off the road until she is safely out of sight. 

Especially if she is going to another Republican "clambake" of some kind!

  

What, Exactly, Do We Owe This Crook?

"Power tends to corrupt; Absolute power corrupts absolutely"

Quote attributed to 19th century British politician Lord Acton

According to Donald Trump and his acolytes in the U.S. Senate and House, America is "too close to an election to proceed with federal and state court cases against him." These court cases must be held after the 2024 election. Why?  Because if he is hauled into court before the election,  it might give him a disadvantage at the polls. And we must guarantee there will be parades and MAGA banners hanging from each building front on every building in America six months prior to Election Day. And there will be free MAGA caps to all attorneys who will lie for him. And there must be music and free lunches for every American who promises to vote for "individual number one!" And there will be "get out of jail free cards" for all insurrectionists!  And one free drink at Mar-A-Lago the day after the election, hosted by Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court. Have I forgotten anything for poor Donald?   We must make certain every possible legal loop-hole  is afforded him.  

Word on the street, however, says, "throw his butt in jail and then have the election." 

I cannot believe we are even having this discussion. Have the MAGA/Republicans taken absolute leave of their senses? This is not a board game run by the meanest guy at the table. This is not a stunt to see how far we can go at screwing with our constitution.

To most of us, this is messing with our rule of law. To the relatively handful of MAGA folks, it is pure, unadulterated and absolute corruption-at-the-courthouse! 

He is guilty as hell and about all he has for his defense is to try to stall this nightmare until after the election.

Don't let him!

 

 

We Americans Deserve To Live Up To Our Dreams. . .

Maybe the Green Bay Packers came up with a great idea.  They have nearly cleared the field of last year's players to make room for the 2023-2024 season.

Think about that in political terms. We would have a chance to write off Donald Trump, Mike Pence, Mitch McConnell, Kevin McCarthy, Mo Brooks, Marjorie Taylor-Green, Lauren Boebeck, Matt Gaetz, Jim Jordan, Ted Cruz, Lindsay Graham, Ron Johnson, Marsha Blackburn. . . oh, be still my beating heart. . . and several more MAGA Republicans!

The newbies could come on board with heads full of knowing what has to be done and hearts full of love for our democracy.  They would be replacing those who have heads full of lobbyist's money and hearts full of hate.

America deserves a second chance at what I remember it used to be like. We spoke to everyone on the street before finding our what their political stripes were. We didn't hate everything that wasn't like us. And, most of all, most of us voted for the best candidate, regardless of their political party!

I know that sounds like utopia, but America really was much closer than it is today.  For the past five or six years, we are closer to the other end of the spectrum. In fact, we are across the tracks, down the hill, and heading at warp speed away from that "shinning city on the hill."

Everything needs a good scrubbing once in a while, and our political picture is in serious need of a going over with a heavy-duty steel rasp and high-speed metal grinder! - and removal of anything that can't be salvaged! 

   

The Days of Payola Over People. . .

Once upon a time in the land of milk, honey, and payola was the impeccably-attired law-givers of the kingdom. They set the laws for we peasants of a lower social ranking. We, who are unsophisticated in the ways of laws, boorish and uneducated people of little financial means will spend much of their lives waiting with baited breath for black smoke to be emitted from the Supreme Court Building's cupola. This means new laws are about to be be handed down from the rich and infamous law gods on high. 

They have concluded their "deliberations," the respective justices are in receipt of their "payola," and are anxious to deliver their ultimatums. While 60% to 85% of their verdicts will be despised by the masses, it will be the law of the land, none the less.

Once again, politically-funded laws are on the books. . . that is, until some fancy-Dan donor comes up with more moola to crank up the stove for more black smoke.

It will soon be payola time, again,  from our nation's capitol! 

Evil Benefactors of the Mean Green Money Machine. . .

 Them that has, gets!

We don't enjoy the same kind of business owners or CEOs these days. They have a thirst for money. . . MORE money. . . and MORE money!

They also have a thirst for more profits - at the employees' expense. This country's richest are going whacko over more summer homes, more yachts, more private airplanes, and more pleasure trips to far-away exotic lands. 

They are also into buying politicians, judges and Supreme Court justices! We need to face what we Americans are becoming. . . a land of plain, ordinary, average "Shmoos" as cartoonist Al Capp called them. As Capp said, "we are lovable creatures who can lay an "egg," give milk and die of sheer ecstasy when looked at with hunger. The schmoo loved to be eaten and tasted like any food one would desire. Anything that delighted people drove a Schmoo to delirious heights."

In other words, we are most happy when the rich and fortunate take full advantage of our pitiful existence. 

Most rich, of course, have no scruples and a clear picture of their God-given (self-professed) entitlements. They refuse to admit their responsibly to pay their fair share of taxes, and decent wages to hardworking Americans who are keeping the  dollars rolling in to the "company store."

There truly are two Americas today, and it's becoming easier to delignate the dividing line.

A large monkey wrench strategically placed in the gear that makes their money roll in would quickly end their glutenous style of living!

The Truth is Mandatory. . .

This is a new blog that is about something much more important today than politics. It is about TRUTH! We must know that if we cannot dig out of this deep layer of untruth and corruption that is covering our nation, we will soon suffocate and die from it.

Finding truth in today's choices of social media is like looking for teeth in a chicken. The unbiased word and those still-unbiased airways are being gobbled up by such critters as social media, biased news outlets, and politicians - those things we should fear the most!

We used to have reliable and accurate newspapers to rely on for useful information. Admittedly, mistakes were made, but libel laws kept newspapers on their toes and when their sources gave them wrong information, it was corrected quickly. Errors by the typographical gremlins were 99% of the problems  and the 1% were through other means. Even in libel cases, an attorney had to prove the newspaper's error was due to malice, and those were few and far between.

Facebook, Twitter and a bevy of other gibber-jabber platforms have scrubbed clean a sentence about "truth" from their mission statements - if they even had such a thing. "It's free speech, my friends. We have confidence that everyone will post only the truth!"

America has lost 1800 newspapers since 2004. and since then about 100 disappear every year. Americans from 3 to 103 years of age have had this little device attached to the palm of their hands since Motorola came out with the cell phone April 4, 1973, and they are multiplying like rabbits. Don't get me wrong - it's a great invention and it has more than proved its worthiness, I'm sure.  But the instant bullpucky in that little biddy screen - Lordy!

It has been the devil's workshop, too. It has muddied many a youngster's mind about what is true and what is false in the world. Politicians have entered the world of lies and found it is the greatest campaign ploy since "Boss Tweed's lie-a-second campaign runs."

We're going to explore this new social media and how it is killing off your old reliable hometown newspaper. It's been a horror show for those of us who relied on the truth in newspapers and for those of us who worked in the business. It was a thing of pride to deliver a fact-based bundle of news, weather, sports, advertising, and entertainment to your doorsteps. 

Today, someone is delivering to those small screens the most unreliable, unsourced, and uncensored snippets of bullpucky anyone could imagine.

I hope you'll follow me in this fight that I believe is at the very core of America's biggest problem! 

John Watson is a retired newspaper publisher and political cartoonist. 

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