Tale of a Barnyard (Stable) Genius...

My name is Donald John Trump and I am President of the United States.

I took a cognitive test and aced it! There were several doctors in the room.  They were very surprised and said what I did no one else had ever done.  I've decided to not release the test results or when I took it, though.

I have been told the test is very hard but I thought it was easy.

I could tell which one was a horsey and which one was a giraffe.  I knew that if  an "A" went with a "1" and a "B" went with a "2", then a "C" must go with a "3."  Lots of other hard questions like that.

I've always know that I am a stable genius.  People tell me that all the time.  I don't like to brag about it too much, though.

I asked my friend Morey to take my SAT for me because the bone spur in my heel was hurting that day so I stayed home.  He didn't get as good of a score as I would have but that was okay.  I got into Wharton Business School and became a very successful real estate developer anyway.  I only had five or six bankruptcies.

One of my professors told that as students go, I was the dumbest SOB he ever had, but he was just jealous of all of my money and women.

The Pentagon told me I don't have to listen to the generals because I already know more than all of them.  I don't have to read everything from the daily briefing book, either, because I just naturally know what's important to know.

I have always been very smart.  I co-wrote a book called "The Art of the Deal."  Well, I really wrote all of it, but I decided to give my friend a chance to get some attention so I said he co-wrote it, too.  I'm nice that way.

Sixty-seven percent of American people think I am doing a lousy job at handling the coronavirus crisis, but I know they are just sick and mad.  I heard that some of them have died, too, but they probably aren't part of that 67%.

Well, I've got to go now.  I'm thinking I may head to Florida this afternoon and see if anybody's sick.  I told Dr. Fauci to take a few months off and I'll see how the virus is looking down there.  I heard the curve has really flattened out a lot.

The End.

Your friend, Donald

P.S.  No one has ever told me why I had to take that cognitive test.  Does anybody know why?

A sarcastic and smart-ass story by

John Watson